El adiós 2

Imagen: suministrada

Imagen: suministrada

Una de mis primeras columnas que escribí para este medio fue la despedida a un amigo de infancia. Un niño diferente al resto de mis amigos que con otro rango socioeconómico, murió sin ton ni son por una bala policial. El hecho fue noticia y lo cubrieron varios medios de comunicación de la ciudad. Ver artículo acá.

Porque el muerto forzado siempre es noticia y los muertos naturales y la experiencia de afrontar un despido, por causa de la existencia, pasa desapercibido. Todos hemos o tendremos un duelo, un distanciamiento físico ineludible que por más qué queramos atajar, este cosmos nos arrebata.

Mi abuelo Germán Carvajal Cujiño está sin estarlo. No se ha ido pero está ausente. Ya no están sus coplas verdes ni sus labios rojos endiablados con chascarriollos montañeros.

Hoy, buscando extraer lo mejor de las circunstancias, queriendo mirar el vaso medio lleno y no medio vacío, les quiero presentar a mi abuelo: un hombre vigoroso que jamás vi decaer ante nada, ni por enfermedad física ni por desajuste emocional.

Ya, su paz imperturbable frente a todo, se nota enlodada por un rostro que no transmite más que “desasosiego”, una palabreja olvidada que él revivía cada vez que no sabía qué putas quería o sentía. Palabra de la que nos reíamos sin saber por qué, porque ninguno de nosotros, ni mi mamá ni mis tíos, ni sus nietos, tuvimos un español tan nutrido como él. Y ante el desconcierto de lo desconocido y su frecuente creación de expresiones explotábamos en risa.

Mi abuelo cantaba en las mañanas con su voz sonora, carismática, con el tono preciso que tiene la gente que siempre cae bien. Como hacen la mayoría de nuestros viejos que enriquecen la vida con música muy en la mañana.

Un aficionado a Julio Jaramillo, a Chavela Vargas, a Jorge Negrete, a Pedro Infante y a todos esos amigos distantes que creó desde un tocadiscos y sus radios viejos. No puedo decir que desde un mini-componente o un computador porque siempre mostró desprecio por las nuevas formas.

Un hombre que saboreaba de la misma manera los fríjoles o el pulpo. Un hombre que con el tiempo aprendió que la vanidad no lo era todo y pasó de caminar erguido y prepotente, a caminar lento y contemplativo.

Sin mucha formación su caligrafía fue envidiada por los médicos que le hacían su control cotidiano de hipertensión y por mis profes de primaria quienes curiosos siempre preguntaban quién era el artista que marcaba mis cuadernos.

Político jamás fue, pero guardaba un LP de antaño con un discurso de Jorge Eliecer Gaitán y decía que ese sí, que ese sí, que obvio sí, que ese “tipo” era quien hubiera podido cambiar la historia del país por completo.

La única vez que lo acompañé a reclamar el dinero mensual de su jubilación lo oí decir que tocaba darlo todo por la paz. “Oigan a este”, increpó a uno de sus contemporáneos y con la ayuda de sus manos y gestos explicó: “toda la vida en la misma vaina, toca ya que nos vamos a morir, ir por la paz”. Al llegar a la casa, siendo un tema vetado sin vetarlo nadie (por las susceptibilidades que se levantaban) Le dijo a mi abuela que la gente era medio pendeja y que tocaba ir por la paz. Mi abuela más mediática que él pero muchísimo más inmediata a su compañía, se puso en sintonía a su lectura electoral.

Glotón hasta más no decir, unas horas antes de su percance, comió de más, se quería llevar todo y no desperdiciar nada. Entonces al pensarlo así recuerdo el día que me sentó en sus piernas siendo yo un niño y sacó una historieta del Chavo del Ocho que decía así:

Si alguna vez me sacara yo la lotería: Lo primerito que me gustaría hacer sería invitarme a comer.

Porque si no comes, te mueres.
Y si te mueres, ¿A qué horas comes?

Y si no vas a comer, ¿Para qué te mueres? Por eso es mejor comer qué morirse.

Y ese era mi viejo. Un filósofo de huevonadas. Un hombre feliz, que sabía provocar felicidad y de buen comer.

Yo fui receptor de carritos de juguetes de alta gama, que luego desaparecían y que jamás eché de menos. Luego en mi adolescencia vi como los mismos juguetes aparecían porque sí, para dar la misma sensación de asombro en otros rostros: en mis primitos menores, en el niño de visita que le caía bien. A quien él sintiera digno de sus artefactos de llanticas que le aseguraban camaradería.

Siendo un bailarín de los buenos, de los que se perdía por días en sus años mozos, sacrificaba los halagos y alardear sus dotes por la payasada. En la celebración de sus 80 años, el 25 de diciembre del año pasado, bailó no para su gusto sino para el nuestro. Ya no era el galán presumido sino el viejito recochero, y meneaba sus brazos y sus caderas búfanamente al estilo Cantinflas mientras bailaba con la menor de sus nietas de nueve añitos.

Hoy lo narro así, lo recuerdo así, porque la imagen más reciente de él la desconozco y la reseteo de mi disco duro.

En vida hay que priorizar la vida, la vitalidad de los nuestros. Y mi abuelo es y será siempre: un verraco, un ‘templao’, un inmortal.

Este es un homenaje precoz y sentimental, un viaje de recuerdos por quien hoy lucha por no irse. Yo conocedor de mi viejo sé que estaría alegando su situación y desprendiéndose de todo para ver en el más allá que le toca.

Hoy siendo periodista y no haber estudiado “abogacía” como era tu gusto “porque eso sí es bueno”, te propongo enseñar un adiós bonito y no darle espacio a las trampas de este ciclo que quiere transformar los recuerdos potencializando la pauperización de vivir. Ese no es tu estilo, vos sos más fiesta, menos pesadumbre.

Yo, soñador y fantasioso al mejor estilo Carvajal, quisiese reinventarte desde la letras y llevarte a un presente inalterable donde seas el de siempre, que te vayas de viaje y que me asegures un tiquete para tu mismo destino. Eso es un raye súper loco parecido al que le montabas a mis primitos chicos diciendo que habías sido futbolista profesional de Independiente Frías y de Deportivo Anserma, equipos de fútbol que no existen, o que habías sido combatiente de cuanta guerra se te viniera a la cabeza y que hacías y deshacías, cuando en realidad no matabas ni una mosca.

Si…. Existe un lugar donde podamos ir ambos y en algún momento se nos da unirnos, y fabricarnos, seremos juntos futbolistas, cantantes y escritores, yo contigo y tu conmigo, tú un 9 de área y yo un 10, tú la voz primera y yo la segunda, tú el escritor y yo el editor cuidador de la claridad.

¡Que sea un trato pues, “huevipolvoso”!

Porque mi cielo es verte como sos y no ese intento de réplica mal hecha, ese esbozo ‘culísimo’ con el que te reflejan estos días.

Servíte tu café de siempre que pese a tu molestia yo preparo mi cigarro. Desde las nubes o la puerta de tu casa, la admiración por las mujeres la seguiremos “Sistematizando” mi viejo.

Por qué no hay despedida mala cuando todo lo que se vivió fue bueno. Y porque siendo este un viaje donde tendremos que partir o despedir, nos es propicio aprender a hacerlo bien. Cuidando el recuerdo de quien se va y la tranquilidad de quienes quedan.

Por: Germán Gómez Carvajal, Universidad de Ibagué.

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